This time of year many of us resolve to do things differently – add or eliminate habits. There’s the appeal of a clean slate. But then we may lose track of that commitment. Or get discouraged. Why? Maybe it didn’t matter enough. Or wasn’t pleasant. Or maybe the outcome wasn’t obvious, or the benefit was too far in the future.
Whether it’s a commitment to fitness or friendship, new habits need to have a payoff to endure.
Here’s a habit you may come to love – and keep. It is pleasant and the benefits will quickly be evident. If it makes you a little uncomfortable, just don’t tell anyone. Just do it.
At the end of each day, write down (this is important) what went well, and what you brought to that situation that had it go well. What skills, abilities, and insights of yours contributed to that great outcome? My executive coaching clients report that everything goes better when they remember to do this simple reflection habit.
Why Focus on Leadership Strengths?
My executive coaching clients are high achievers, who have successful careers by continuously looking for ways to improve. Therefore, they often balk at reflecting on strengths. Doesn’t a focus on strengths build complacency? Arrogance? No. Here’s why a focus on strengths is beneficial.
1. Gifts
Great athletes often discount their natural abilities. They were just lucky. But they brought focus, discipline and rigor to that natural gift to advance the gift even more. Good singers may discount their skill, attributing it to a lucky break or good genes. But if they want to make that their main focus, they embrace and build on that gift.
In leadership, your gift may be something not commonly found in a resume. Are you great at synthesizing dissimilar ideas? Selecting outstanding executives who amplify the overall effectiveness of the team? Noticing what is missing in a forecast? Fostering constructive debates without offense?
For example, an executive coaching client I’ll call Ryan tried this. At the end of the days that he remembered to do it, he felt better about his day, and noticed that he was good at delegating and following up to ensure staff knew expectations, and to course-correct if there were things that changed or needed to be revisited. Previously, when he delegated he was inconsistent about follow up. Upon reflection, he noticed how much it helped the results. This awareness reinforced his commitment to consistent follow-up.
2. Skills
Neurologically, new neurons branch off of existing neurons. We know this anecdotally as well. A new skill must come from a known solid foundation. That’s why a focus on strengths builds competence. You have to have a good vocabulary to write a coherent report. You have to understand motivation to inspire customers and employees. You need to know how to read a financial statement to interpret a company’s trends. New skills are built off old skills. If you discount them (oh that – I’m just naturally good at it) then you don’t have the concrete elements of that strength in view, from which to leap to the next level. When you focus on those skills, pretty soon you find yourself applying them in new ways. Our brains are naturally curious and strive for that next level of challenge.
A client I’ll call Alexis had a tough feedback session with one of her staff. She realized that she waited until she was clear about what was problematic, and delivered the criticism quietly, privately and unapologetically. What she did well was hold a hard line on a problem that had been recurring, and still was able to be motivating not alienating. That reflection helped reinforce the strength of getting clear with herself and with staff. It brought into focus that being clear is not being mean, but rather, effective.
3. Culture
A continual focus on what else is on your personal list of weaknesses drains energy. Focusing on the faults of others drains their energy and motivation too.
When you build the habit of focusing on strengths, you naturally begin to see others through that lens. You bring more attention to noticing your team members’ strengths. That attention builds positivity in a team. Team members begin to build that habit with each other because it becomes the norm. We are generally more motivated by positivity than criticism.
4. Innovation
Innovation results from creativity, which flourishes in a positive environment. Creativity generally results from feeling confident enough to explore. An abrasive environment results in people spending energy being wary, defensive, and circumspect. Covering their tracks, or creating work-arounds to achieve what they see as a better result.
In a positive environment, a roadblock becomes a motivating challenge. A setback becomes a rallying cry for others to pitch in and solve a problem. A hurdle requires regrouping to try out several new options and experiments.
A client I’ll call Julie reflected on her strength with customers. She is great at relationship building. She decided to innovate on her own strength by bringing staff to client meetings, even though their role was not client facing. It was not in their job description, or necessarily among her expectations for them. Yet thinking beyond their normal scope to introduce contact with clients reinvigorated them, gave them a broader view of their contribution, their clients, and a greater appreciation for building their own relationship skills. Everyone can benefit from improved relationship skills.
5. Progress
With a focus on improvement and strategy, we sometimes lose track of the progress we’ve made. A reflection habit brings into focus how much more skilled you are than a year ago, or how much has been achieved since a year ago. That reminder energizes you for the next new challenge.
Don’t Worry About Arrogance
Arrogance results from parading achievements to cover for insecurity. Competent leaders who know their strength don’t need to hog the spotlight with self-aggrandizing comments or worse, take credit for others’ contributions. Rather they know that greater outcomes result from the combined efforts of a team that is motivated, creative, collaborative and engaged. Leaders who are clear about their own strengths are less likely to be self-centered. They know the truth of their abilities, and welcome those who bring complementary skills. It becomes second nature to appreciate the contributions of others.
So take a fearless inventory of what you do well. Try this new reflection habit – you don’t have to let others know you are appreciating yourself until you reap the benefits in higher energy, a more motivated team, and more creative results. Then you may want to encourage others to try the habit.
Acknowledgement
Many thanks to Perry Carrison who first shared this tip for daily reflection of what went well.
More ideas
For more ideas on evaluating strengths, explore the four lenses in my book Zoom Leadership: Change Your Focus Change Your Insights.