Every leader I have worked with inevitably has a moment of doubt, what’s called an “imposter syndrome.” The feeling that there must have been some mistake when being hired or promoted. In the 2010 movie The King’s Speech, after it’s clear that the main character Albert (and not his older brother) will succeed his deceased father as king of Britain, he says, “I am not a king. I am not a king.” And yet, despite his stammer, he becomes king.
My client Tony was no different. He actually knew he had solid skills, and had proven himself in his finance role. He worked hard to position himself for a Chief Financial Officer role, which he earned and received. He brought a healthy dose of humility, knowing he had made his share of mistakes, especially politically. Despite his credentials and experience, there were days he worried that he was being disregarded, his recommendations glossed over, his risk predictions ignored.
Sometimes he was tempted to look for reassurance among his staff. To be honest, sometimes he did. He knew that was not a good long range strategy, because it included bashing upper management to raise himself up. He had resolved to stop that bad habit.
Finding Confidence
The fact is, there are days all of us falter in our confidence. Maybe that’s not a bad thing. It keeps us learning, alert, continuously improving. But when the fear of Imposter Syndrome paralyzes action, or creates the conditions for very conservative responses to business decisions, or inappropriate neediness, it’s time to take stock. If you’re a regular reader, by now you know I believe self-awareness is the key to many leadership issues. Being unconscious in patterns of thinking and action doom someone to responding in old ways to new challenges.
There are a few ways to deal with those moments of self-doubt. One is to be sure that you are responding to actual facts. The other is to take responsibility if your doubts really are founded.
Collect the Data
- Make a reality check. Have you received negative feedback, verbal, written or by body language?
- Have you been left out of important meetings to which you used to be invited?
- Have your urgent recommendations or warnings been ignored?
- Have you isolated yourself from key constituents, clients or peers?
- Are you relying on your own staff to rescue you?
Take Responsibility
- Seek out current feedback. Ask your boss and peers, is there anything I should do more of (respond to emails more quickly? Explain decisions more clearly?) Is there anything I should stop doing (Interrupting? Taking more than my share of the meeting air time?)
- Meet with the meeting leaders. Find out if they were just giving you a break, leaving you out because the topic did not relate to your expertise, or because you were a disruptive non-contributing member.
- Find out why your recommendations have been ignored. Are you always urgent? Do you tend to “cry wolf?”
- Ask others if you listen attentively, summarize and played back the decision criteria that matter to others?
- Do you hide when feeling vulnerable? Instead, get out and make contact. Find something you genuinely appreciate others for and let them know. Identify someone you respect to be a thinking partner on a thorny issue.
- Take back your power. It’s not staff’s job to rescue you. Let them know you can handle the rocky road of business uncertainty and political unpredictability. Be a resource.
Also see Office Drama
Janet Britcher, MBA is President of Transformation Management, LLC and a Certified Executive Coach for leaders and managers. She has extensive experience as a leader and, prior to starting her own company in 2002, as head of Human Resources. Since 2002, she has provided one-on-one executive coaching, especially for managers recently promoted or destined for promotion, and offers leadership workshops to transform leadership effectiveness.