When it comes to leadership, great is the enemy of good. This turns Jim Collins’ famous observation, “Good is the enemy of great,” on its head. Collins’ lesson may apply to companies, but when it comes to leaders, their own striving for perfection can interfere with learning, authenticity and transparency. Striving for perfection is a path to a static state, a dead end. Perfection implies that you’re all done, and we aren’t, not any of us.
Take Susan. She was on a steady growth path, with her responsibilities expanding every few years. Her education was augmented by the school of hard knocks: She had been demoted by a new leader following a reorganization, despite her expertise. This made her strive to be more perfect instead of inquiring about and developing the additional skills she needed to work on. She had a high turnover among her staff because she was demanding. She expected a lot of herself, worked long hours and felt exhausted. The harder she was on her staff, the less they tried and the more she worked. That’s the price of perfection.
The other problem with perfection is that it’s focused on the future. The focus is on what must happen in the future, or what might not, happen that is stressful. But the present is where one can find awareness and acceptance of what is. The present is the only place that progress or change can be made. Being present is a great place to experience successes and even setbacks.
Perfection, if it doesn’t result in self-deception, sets up a perpetual source of stress. The continuous stress of this self-judgment reduces effectiveness and performance. A perfectionist continually moves the target, even once an outcome seems to have been achieved because perfection can’t be reached. Leaders with this kind of ongoing stress are much more likely to infect others with their stress, which negatively affects their staff and even customers.
Executives who strive for improvement and self-acceptance instead of perfection are more likely to grow and be a little more fearless. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean complacency or being satisfied with the status quo; it means being in a state of humble curiosity and willingness to learn while accepting that not everything can be known or can succeed. The striving for awareness and learning are both generative: They generate aliveness and growth. Continuous improvement, as long as it’s combined with humility, curiosity and humor, is beneficial to growth, not stressful.
Another cost of perfectionism is the inevitable micromanagement approach: trying to control outcomes by controlling others. Effective management involves accountability for outcomes and clarity of direction, as well as monitoring and follow-through. These approaches lead to clarity. Micromanagement, on the other hand, stifles motivation and creativity, leaving staff underutilized and demoralized and leaders overworked.
Perfectionism seeks to avoid failure and prevent a negative outcome. Negative motivators like these can initially jump-start a change in behavior. For example, a heart attack can prompt a new fitness commitment, or a job loss can prompt self-reflection. Conversely, continuous improvement and lifelong learning are positive motivators. A positive motivator is more enduring. If you want something to happen as a positive desirable outcome, it’s more motivating and more long-lasting than trying to avoid a negative result. One client recently said, “It feeds me,” about that kind of motivation.
Perfectionism encourages people to hide their mistakes and weaknesses, which leaves others without sufficient information on obstacles. One of my clients developed a “Guide to Maureen” so her staff would know her strengths, preferences and priorities. Providing staff with information that orients them is humanizing and respectful. Even acknowledging areas for her leadership growth invites others to pause for self-awareness and contemplation of self-improvement. In other words, if Maureen knows where she’s vulnerable to criticism or insecurity, then she may be more compassionate toward others’ weak spots. If staff know that she accepts herself yet strives to grow, they can be more honest in their interactions. This gesture of transparency goes a long way toward making expectations clear, rather than unfairly expecting staff to determine the unspoken. In fact, Maureen cheerfully admits this with a sign in her office that says, “The mind reader interface has not yet been developed.”
In Rising to Power, author Ron Carucci takes this one step further and encourages leaders to “give others permission to name your triggers when they appear.” He writes: “Most people are notoriously bad observers of their own reality, and this holds especially true for executives. Most aren’t sufficiently self-aware to recognize when something has triggered them … ”
In summary, try these approaches to move away from the destructive forces of perfectionism:
• Reclaim humility and humor.
• Commit to lifelong learning, including learning from mistakes.
• Accept your humanity, including weakness.
• Strive for continuous improvement through curiosity.
Originally appeared 10/9/18 in Forbes online